Trapped
by akaHachi
Summary: Naruto is trapped in his lingering feelings but an unsuspected meeting seems to open the gate to a way out. Rated M for language, substance abuse, mental illness and smut appearing in the future.


**Hey guys, A.K. here!**  
 **I know I'm supposed to be working on New Faces, but this thing just popped into my head and doesn't want to leave, kinda feels like it's writing itself...**  
 **So I'm putting new faces for the time being on hiatus, until I get my shit together and will be to continue.**  
 **But yeah, this one I will continue...!**

 **As always, please leave reviews and comments~**

 **lots of love and stay awesome**

 **Candace out (1)**  
 **A.K.**

Ps. (1) - I started to use this after I heard it in one of Phineas and Ferb's episodes. Please don't tell me I'm the only adult spending time watching children cartoons *cries*

* * *

 _'How can you overwrite someone's existence in your head when they are always present in your life? Can you just erase them and overwrite the things you shared with them? The feelings you felt?'_

The thoughts, however depressing they could seem, were running through the blonde head and no matter how hard had he tried to stop them, he never could. Usually drinking helped to ease the endless stream but let's be honest, one has to take care of their liver in the end. At some point he was afraid that he'll lose contact with reality for good, that he'll just go crazy and it terrified him.

Naruto had locked himself in.

It wasn't wise to go out, especially now, where his deadline was coming to an end and he had basically thirty pages left to write to finish his book. But the problem that his muse has... left and he wasn't able to see the end of the story at all. Everything he wrote was rejected by his editor since it never made sense, didn't blend in with the previous chapters, it always seemed like a different story and he couldn't just change it right before the ending. So desperate to finish, he was trying to find these feelings and peacefulness he had once felt before but no matter how had he tried, his thoughts always got really dark and depressing in no time. His story wasn't supposed to be this dark and depressing. But he had to finish the chapter.

So at this point isolation seemed like a really good idea, cutting everything out, re-reading his last chapter, watching some funny movies, listening to positive music and trying to buzz yourself up with any kind of positiveness and, on the "high", try to finish the book. ' _It's only thirty pages, it shouldn't be this hard!'_

Taking his phone and setting it up right next to his computer, Naruto played the movie he knew always cheered him up with the ridiculousness and simple humor - one of his favourites - Scary Movie. If only his editor saw what he used as inspiration... he was sure that Iruka would kill him the moment he saw the title, he wouldn't even try to hear out the boy's explanation, he would've just killed him and told the press that the mysterious writer known as Kitsune was killed in a horrible accident. They've been working together since Naruto went to publisher with his first story, and since then they've been a dream team - the CEO kept them together as a team and both men bonded in a way no one would imagine editor and writer could - they were basically a family now. The thought of Iruka being here, right next to Naruto made him feel at ease a little, the father figure Naruto never really had in his life was the soothing presence but... but it couldn't really help him. He didn't need to be soothed. He needed to be happy.

Again trying to focus on the idiotic movie played next to his computer's screen, he touched the phone's screen. '00 _:34am. Great, I really should write a story about vampires next, Kiba would be totally psyched.'_ Although his dear childhood friend was a total dog lover, something about vampires started to appeal to him recently, maybe because since enrolling to university he was also living the night life starting his days at 6pm and finishing around 2am or later. They started joking that they became vampires since both of them were fully functioning human beings when everyone else was at home sleeping. For Kiba that was okay, but Naruto knew why he couldn't close his eyes before 4am - insomnia probably had a lot to do with his mental state, but no matter how hard he tired, he couldn't sleep. ' _No one warned me that once I get to know what a good night sleep is I won't be able to fall asleep alone ever again.'_ And that was true.

Since the first night Naruto fell asleep with Sasuke in the same bed, cuddling, with their bodies fitting in perfect harmony, he couldn't sleep alone. Without Sasuke's scent lingering on Naruto's bed, pillow or blanket, he was waking up, without Sasuke himself he always woke up tired more that the night before, and now that Sasuke has actually left him for good, if he were to go to sleep early (in the new standards it was around 2am) he usually dreamt about him, and waking up alone crushed him with realization of empty space in his heart and on his bed. ' _But everything happens for a reason.'_

"And I did it again! I went to him again!" In frustration the blonde hit his head on his desk knocking over the not-so-well balanced phone with the movie still on. Sasuke's memory was still very much alive in Naruto's... heart, head... everything. His pure existence was full of Sasuke. When asked about the moment he was the happiest, he only thought of time when he was with the raven, so how could he now imitate happiness of loving, when he knew he was now so painfully alone. "Naruto, get a grip, stop drowning in self-pity and get to work. It's only thirty pages!" growl was followed by another face-to-desk self punishment he developed after constantly catching himself thinking unnecessary things.' _You can think about Sasuke, but not when you're supposed to be working! You agreed with Iruka that the story will have a happy ending and if you'll change it, he's gonna kill you, it's been already 6 times he rejected your drafts. Seriously.'_ Naruto stood up from his desk and moved to the couch where his ginger cat slept looking innocently "Give daddy some sugar, huh...? Noodle" in a quiet voice Naruto called the cat's name hoping it will sense his stress and sadness building up, _'the cat needs occasionally some time off from taking care of his human too, huh?'_ Naruto chuckled and delicately scratched little creature's head. He would never assume he could be so connected with an animal that by now felt sometimes like his baby, sometimes like his best friend or a human trapped in cat's body. Noodle could sense Naruto's moods and whenever it got really bad, just like a small person would, he was sitting next to the distressed boy purring and demanding to be petted like he'd knew it would calm him down.' _Let the cat sleep. At least one of you will be well rested',_ knowing that he won't write anything that makes sense, Naruto went back to his desk, took his phone up and stopped the movie - it was really sad that the movie that once was his favourite and cracked him up now seemed really boring and not funny at all, but well, there weren't many things that brought him any kind f happiness now, at least not when sober.

Looking through apps on his phone he had a pattern of checking things - first would be Sasuke's profile on chatting app they used, to see if he maybe changed something, then moving onto writing back to Iruka whom he'd be in contact all the time, and then to messenger where he'd be talking with Kiba. He never really complained about having no one to talk to when he could count on one of the two man to keep in touch with him and he had some good friends that messaged him from time to time, so there was no problem there. What was actually more problematic was that if he didn't write back to both Iruka and Kiba in a matter of one to few hours, they got too worried and either spammed him or called his cell. ' _I know it's because they care and worry about me but it's not like I'll kill myself...'_ and just as the dangerous stream of thoughts started he got a message.

" _hey man, let's hang today!"_

If one said "no" to Kiba wanting to hang out, it was sure that they'll go crazy from amount of whining and crying that "how can you not want to spend time with me, we were supposed to be best friends... etc" and besides what harm can come from a little hang out, ' _it will make my mood better, maybe I'll drink something and I'll be able to continue the story even a little bit,_ _at this point even half of a page would a big progress.'_ Throwing one last glance in the direction of computer with an empty word document opened, waiting to be filled with last pages of his story, he dialed Kiba's phone number.

* * *

"Cheers!" Kiba shouted putting the two glasses full of beer together "to you finally looking like a living organism!" he laughed out loudly enough to irritate Naruto. They were already after few drinks, sitting in their regular hangout place opened throughout the night.

"You're getting real busy with exams now right?"

"Dude come on, if I wanted to talk about exams I'd stay in and text my university friends" sounding a little annoyed, the brunette pouted. Noticing that, Naruto quickly took a huge gulp of his remaining beer and finishing it, put the empty glass on the bar.

"Now it's your turn" he said daring. "Of course if you're not too scared to get drunk again" he laughed at his own joke and motioned with his hand signalising 'one more beer' to the bartender.

"Is that a challenge, Uzumaki?"

"It all depends on you, Inazuka! If you're ambitious enough to keep up with me" The bright smile took over the blonde's face once again, whenever he was with his best friend no matter how depressed he was or how bad things seemed to be, he could count on the other boy to make him laugh and bring out the best in him. Their meaningless competitions in every possible field made their time together fun and it of course took Naruto's mind off the useless thoughts.

Kiba managed to empty his glass in few attempts and burping, each burp louder than the previous, ordered one glass more. "You feel stupid blondie? I bet you thought I couldn't do it" he jumped off his chair and locked Naruto's head in a headlock ruffling up his blonde unruly locks. He could swear that his friend's hair was growing to the sun, trying to reach his home planet. Everything about Naruto screamed 'I'm a god of sun walking on the face of the Earth' - his bubbly, happy-go-lucky personality, his godly sun kissed skin tone, the azure blue eyes, and golden hair spiking up like rays of sun falling on the ground - and what Kiba could never understand was why and how his best friend ended up with someone as ' _dangerous'_ as Sasuke Uchiha. Sasuke was the total opposite, always calm and toned down, with pale skin, pitch black eyes and hair, he seemed even mysterious and dangerous like a drug you've never heard of, one taste and you'd get hooked for life. ' _And this is what happened to Naruto.'_ After the break-up, the boy behaved like he had withdrawal symptoms as if the raven was his air and sole reason of life, and Kiba knew well enough that even if his friend seemed fine now, he was broken inside, probably beyond fixing. The only person who could make it all go away and bring the old Naruto back was the same one who was the reason for the destruction in blonde's heart. Sometimes, when their hangout went in a wrong direction because Naruto got too happy to be drinking with friends he'd already made amongst the bar regular customers and ended up completely drunk, he'd say the things that were meant to be heard by no one - one of the usual ones was that he didn't have a heart anymore because ' _he took it with him'_. Kiba never actually reminded his friend about his drunk blabber, scared it would only make him more depressed.

"I believed in you, though I do realize that you're nearing your limit" the blonde chuckled and sighed "It's good to be out with you like that, it's relaxing" pretending to be busy, he was playing with a coaster.

"Stop sounding like... like that." Kiba's voice got unnoticeably quieter, no matter how much he wanted to help his friend, he sometimes couldn't. "You know that we're best friends and I'll be always here for you" The brunette smiled and patted the boy next to him on the back.

"Sure, sure... I know!" Naruto awkwardly laughed and got off his chair "Gotta pee, jeez this beer makes me want to pee a lot". The bar was unusually busy for Thursday night and having to squeeze between bodies of people standing by the front door Naruto sweared under his nose. ' _It's unfortunate enough that the bathroom is by the entrance'_ trying to pass never ending line of backs and shoulders he felt someone push against his body strongly enough to make him lose his balance and trip over, falling on the person next to him.

"Oh, I'm so sorry" he mumbled and let go of the person's arm that he must've caught in rush of instincts to save his ' _sorry ass'_ from looking like a compete idiot.

"No problem, my pleasure I could help you." Naruto felt goosebumps and shiver run through his body. _'something's not right...'_

"You see, there's plenty of people and I just wanted to go to th..." his throat went dry in matter of milliseconds when he looked up at the face of a person he might've slightly sexually assaulted, but he wasn't sure if he had actually touched someone's butt or not.

Staring at the taller's man face he couldn't muster up even one word to come out of his mouth. His head felt empty. There was only one thought that appeared without a warning:

 _'Sasuke'_


End file.
